Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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