the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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