Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
