We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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