using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
