Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
