I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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