i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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