She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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