Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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