Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
