i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
