after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
