Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
