he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
