wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize