i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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