before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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