So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
