I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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