Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
