i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
