Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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