There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
