im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
