haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
