my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
