whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
