Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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