We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
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eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
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That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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