I think im going to throw up on grandma
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
