i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
