So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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