The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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