Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Is Oprah even human
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
