Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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