I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i now understand why vodka
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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