have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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