im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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