WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I see more hoeing in ur future
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