He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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