I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I didn't notice because vodka
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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