shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize