i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
