mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize