You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize