shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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