it hurts more in the daytime
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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