i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize