boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
