just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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