its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize