If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
