Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We left the knife in your bed.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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