So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
