oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
