Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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