I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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