I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There r osticjed everywhere
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
