no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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