Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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