hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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